Forgiveness isn’t about letting them off the hook. It’s about releasing yourself from one.

The Cord That Kept Me Tethered to Pain

For years, I carried anger toward someone I used to be very close to. They had betrayed my trust in a way that cut deep. I played it cool in public, but internally, I was still furious. Every time I thought about them, I felt this spike of rage and hurt. Every time our paths crossed, I braced myself for the sting. I had built an entire protective system around the pain they’d caused me, and I was convinced that staying angry was how I kept myself safe.

What I didn’t understand was that my anger wasn’t hurting them at all. They had moved on with their life. Meanwhile, I was still tethered to them through the cord of my resentment. I was the only one suffering. I was the only one carrying their energy around with me constantly. I was the only one whose healing was still stalled because I was too busy being right about how they had wronged me.

What Forgiveness Actually Is (and Isn’t)

For the longest time, I confused forgiveness with condoning. I thought if I forgave this person, I would be saying, "What you did was okay." I thought forgiving meant I had to be in relationship with them, or act like it never happened, or somehow pretend that the betrayal didn’t matter. So I refused to forgive, because the betrayal absolutely mattered. They were wrong. I was right to be angry.

But true forgiveness isn’t about them at all. Forgiveness is an energetic release. It’s cutting the cord that ties you to someone else’s behavior. It’s saying, "What you did mattered, and it hurt me, and I’m going to stop letting your actions dictate my emotional state." It’s not about them. It’s about you becoming free.

I finally understood this when I realized that my anger wasn’t noble. It wasn’t me being strong or principled. It was me being stuck. I was letting someone I no longer wanted in my life still control my energy, my mood, my healing. As long as I was holding onto resentment, I was still giving them power over me.

The Day I Decided to Let Them Go

It wasn’t a dramatic moment. I didn’t have some transcendent spiritual experience where I suddenly felt love for them. I simply got tired. I got tired of carrying their energy. I got tired of the space they were taking up in my mind. I got tired of using my anger as evidence that I was right and they were wrong. And I realized: I didn’t need them to be wrong anymore for me to be right about my own worth.

So I decided to forgive them. Not for them. For me. I didn’t call them up and make a big announcement. I didn’t perform forgiveness. I just, in the quiet of my own heart, decided to release the cord. I acknowledged what they had done. I acknowledged how it had hurt me. And I said, "I’m going to stop letting this define our connection."

And something magical happened. The moment I released that cord, I felt lighter. Not immediately, because forgiveness isn’t always instant. But over time, when I thought about them, the spike of rage didn’t come anymore. There was sadness, maybe, that a beautiful connection had ended. But there was no more resentment. There was no more tether.

How Forgiveness Changes Your Frequency

I started to understand something about energy and frequency. Every time I held onto anger toward someone, I was literally vibrating at the frequency of that anger. I was broadcast that frequency out into the world. And from that frequency, I could only attract more of the same — more resentment, more conflict, more people who hurt me. I was energetically matched to the wound, not to the healing.

Forgiveness shifts your frequency. It moves you from the frequency of resentment to the frequency of peace. From the frequency of victim to the frequency of someone who has learned and grown from what happened. From the frequency of being stuck to the frequency of being free.

And here’s the thing: when you shift your frequency, your entire life shifts. You start attracting different people. You start having different experiences. You start showing up differently in your relationships because you’re no longer operating from the place of unhealed hurt. You’re operating from the place of someone who has loved, been hurt, and chosen to heal anyway.

The Practice of Cord-Cutting Forgiveness

If you’re carrying resentment toward someone, I want to share what worked for me. This is a simple practice, but it’s powerful: Take a moment, close your eyes, and bring the person to mind. Don’t try to feel love for them. Don’t try to perform forgiveness. Just acknowledge: "You hurt me, and I’ve been holding onto that. I’m ready to let it go."

Visualize a cord between you and them. Really see it. Notice its color, its thickness, its weight. And then, in your mind, cut it. You can use a sword, scissors, light, whatever feels right. And as you cut it, say: "I release you. I release the energy I’ve been using to stay connected to this hurt. I reclaim my energy. I choose my freedom."

Don’t try to replace the resentment with love. Not yet. Just let there be neutrality. Let there be peace. Let there be space where the cord used to be. And notice how different you feel when that space opens up.

When Forgiveness Is Hard

Now, I won’t pretend that forgiveness is always easy. Some wounds run deep. Some betrayals are profound. And part of the healing is actually honoring how much you were hurt. You don’t forgive by pretending the hurt wasn’t real. You forgive by fully acknowledging the hurt and then deciding not to let it live in you anymore.

There are people in my life I forgave, and it took time. There are some I’m still working on. But every time I practice forgiveness, I feel more freedom. And every time I choose not to forgive, every time I hold onto the resentment, I feel more trapped. The choice becomes very clear.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to be in relationship with someone. It doesn’t mean you ignore the harm they caused. It doesn’t mean you pretend it didn’t happen. It means you stop letting what happened control who you’re becoming.

The Freedom That’s Waiting

There’s someone you’re still angry at. There’s someone whose energy you’re still carrying around. And that anger is costing you. It’s costing you peace. It’s costing you the energy you could be using to build your own life. It’s costing you your freedom.

What would change if you let them go? What would shift in your life if you reclaimed the energy you’ve been using to stay tethered to their betrayal? What could you create if you weren’t still vibrating at the frequency of hurt?

Forgiveness is the most powerful gift you can give yourself. It’s not about them. It’s about you finally becoming free.

Be light + Shine on,
Deganit

About Deganit

Deganit is the founder of Nuurvana, author of Imagine, and an intuition expert. She is the creator of Be Light, guiding seekers through energy healing and spiritual awakening.

Ready to cut the cords that are holding you back? Take the Which Witch Are You? quiz — it’s free, it’s fun, and it might just change how you see yourself.